Hi folks! I'm a girl who loves to imagine, to create, and to dream. I'm collecting poetic quotes, just because they're pretty, so feel free to send me any.
Also, if it isn't already obvious - I believe BB will be together in the end after Booth finds his brains!
I am so goddamn frustrated, I feel like bashing something until it bleeds that warm, crimson liquid all over the place.
And sure, I could probably ramble to someone, but how would you like it if one of your friends just approached you out of the blue and started screaming and shouting about what happened and how it all sucked?
Not to mention I'm probably not the only one who had a bad day too (I hope).
So I'm rambling here, where no one gets irritated since you get to choose whether you want to read or not.
Ach, my timing just sucks. My brain hasn't been functioning right in the realm of creativity since the start of second sem, or so I think. And now I'm really feeling the malfunction.
And on top of desperately trying to wring out some last few drops of inspiration from my sun-dried rag of creativity, that has to happen.
Perfect, perfect timing.
I just had to not see that note and screw myself ten times over. Well done, girl; now good luck on thinking of and elaborating on a good plot in the space of six days.
I am not surprised at the number of artists/musicians/writers who lose it completely and go insane (or depressed) every now and then.
The random one-liners, quotes, nonsense and really short paragraphs that don't feel appropriate anywhere else go there.
The random long rambles stay here, simply because I'm not used to seeing ultra-long posts in tumblr, lol, and LJ/wordpress is generally far too serious/professional for my random rants. Not to mention, if I get a compulsion to do a blogskin - this will still be here for me.
But naturally, since it's easier to write a post for tumblr (due to the little rules I've imposed on myself), the former would obviously be more active. And probably more... well, never mind, just read at your own risk.
I am actually pretty irritated at how ironic life can be sometimes.
You know, the people I don't mind listening to, even if they call at unearthly hours, don't - or hardly - ever seem to tell me about their issues. Or if they do, it's normally about issues that actually matter. On the other hand, the people that annoy the heck out of me seem to be perpetually complaining to me about their lives and whatnot. Talk about familiarity breeding contempt. Or distance makes the heart grow fonder.
Or, you know, just my luck or something. Except that I don't quite believe in luck or coincidence, so... damn. I don't want to end up like those people I'm always listening to. And yet they say the more you hang out with someone, the more they rub off on you. So why am I always with the people I don't want to become, instead of the people I want to become (this is not counting schoolmates. I absolutely love my schoolmates, you know, primary, secondary, and poly. All of you are awesome. I'm referring to... let's just say elsewhere.)?
I need to stop being so nice. I need to stop thinking about other people's feelings so much. I shouldn't be afraid of hurting people. And I shouldn't be plagued by guilt when I do so.
What do you do when you love what you do, yet desperately wish it was easier? When you think, hey, this job would be interesting, yet it frays your nerves while you try to cook up a decent concept?
Nope, I never thought it would be all sunshine and roses, but hey, I'm a champion complainer. No surprise there. Plus I just had a day of hermit time and I don't feel any better. Probably because EP is due on Friday, and some of the CA10s are already out (and they're really daunting, imo. The kind you don't dare to touch because they have sharp teeth and strong jaws. Snap!).
And they're right, you know. It's easier to study for exams than do projects all-year round. You really have to love what you're doing to take the latter path.
That's it. I'm gonna go kill more darkspawn while I wait. I finished an Amell playthrough of Origins. Now for her Awakening playthrough. Then at least I'll have her (so-called complete) save file for DA2 (since Hawke's related to the Amell line, apparently). If there aren't any subtle changes in the world for Amell, then I'll just import my dear ol' Cousland's save instead. Then maybe my Tabris.
Charis was absolutely right when she said artists, musicians, and writers - they're all an emotional bunch of people. Our feelings and hopes practically bleed into our works, whether it's a story, a poem, a picture, or a song. And we're open to our feelings, 'cos emotions are often what constitutes inspiration. But it's a double-edge sword, since sometimes, we can't express the turmoil that churns within us. Sometimes.
Emotions are fleeting; insubstantial. They don't last, not unless you make them last.
I questioned many things.
I have yet to find answers.
Things get complicated.
But I still believe God turns everything around to work for my own good. Even the bad.
I still want to take the extra course in psychology if my GPA hits the requirements this sem. Of course, they're doing it by invitation only, so... damn. One can only hope, since I'm not sure if I should, even if I want to. If the current workload is enough to drive me bonkers at times, then how the hell will I handle night classes?
It's just that I like psychology. I still wonder if I could be some sort of counsellor, or psychiatrist, or psychologist in the future. The human mind fascinates me. I originally intended to go for a psychology course, but they didn't offer any such thing in the polys. The closest psychology course was mixed with business, and I didn't want that. I don't really care about using psychology for business, or for social working. I want to study the mind, to theorize why it functions that way, why people behave the way they do, why we feel. I want to slip into people's minds. Listen to people; learn to see beyond their words and into the heart of the issue.
Actually, sure, I could probably read up on my own. But don't you need some sort of qualification to work as a psychologist? Heck, a profiler sounds more than awesome, actually. Though I doubt I can be a profiler in SG, lol. It's okay! Dream big, and then cross that mountain when you get to it.
But I'm still a writer first, and I still want my hermit time, so yes. Maybe not. There are many paths one can take, after all. And if it's what I'm called for, I can be pretty damn sure God will move heaven, hell and earth to make sure I fulfill that calling.
Off-topic, but Bones returns this Thursday! Finally. I can't sit down and watch a show without a single production/script/character development thought crossing my mind.
Heck, I can't even hate the current Hannah-Booth-Brennan arc because of what I've learned. It's a plot point. It's there to examine the characters' dynamics and relationships. It's there to develop the characters (without Hannah Brennan might've never broken down to the point of confession), and push their relationship in a direction we all desire.
It will pass.
And most importantly, while I wish I could hate the current arc, I can't, because from a writer's point of view, introducing Hannah - someone you can't hate and that Brennan isn't cat-fighting with - is quite an ingenious way of laying the foundation for Booth and Brennan's ultimate acknowledgement of their feelings. The fans might be furious (that includes me), but I understand why they're doing it. It's for the characters' own good. Brennan won't just come to terms with her feelings with a snap of her fingers, without some kind of trigger.
THAT JUST MAKES IT HARDER, DAMNIT.
Oh, I can't wait for Dragon Age II (March) and Skyrim (Nov). Writers, work your magic!
I didn't get what the whole main plot was about, but by the Nine Divines! Skyrim is official and it's coming!
I bet they chose the date because of its significance. No other reason. I bet they'll just twiddle their thumbs and wait till 11.11.2011 to release Skyrim even if they finish it earlier. I can't wait! :D I'll be looking forward to Dark Brotherhood goodies... or whatever their equivalent in Skyrim is.
That aside. I just want VPPP to be over. D: I don't wanna show it to him; I just wanna export and submit and go for cca and then go home. Sigh.
Unsurprisingly, I have the slightest twinge of nervousness about tomorrow. I don't think I will ever get used to the pressure of pitching an idea. Pitching is a lot more than just a simple presentation. I guess it's because you're not only presenting: you're offering something, and that suggestion more often than not comes from your heart.
And if it's rejected - wow. It's like breaking up with someone.
I was exaggerating.
But it's definitely not a pleasant feeling.
If it's justified I can accept it though. It's just... well, some people are unpredictable. One man's meat is another man's poison.
Oh, don't get me wrong. I still love writing stories and I still find the whole process fun (starting, reworking, and so on), but pitching... let's just say it's not quite my cup of tea. Yet. After all I did spend 15 years keeping mum about any random bursts of inspiration I might've had.
And because I'm so awesome, I only realized in half my ideas, the characters had little to nothing at stake 30 minutes ago. And I had almost two days to realize that. Aren't I awesome?
Time to rework those faulty episodic summaries again.
Question: Heart-crushed that Booth shot down Brennan in the December 9 episode of Bones. I need something to make my heart full again. I need some positive Booth/Brennan scoop! Go! —Shay
Ausiello: They’re going to be spending Valentine’s Day together. Alone.
What a present Emily Deschanel received from Bones creator Hart Hanson. After attending the actress' September nuptials, Hanson was inspired to write a wedding-themed Valentine's Day episode for Emily's directorial debut. "We all remember what Emily went through," says Hanson of the bride's wedding jitters. "She's very detail-oriented and wanted it to be perfect."
The episode, which finds a wedding planner murdered, "is one of our more amusing cases, enabling us to have fun with everybody's relationships," says Hanson. For instance, there'll be trouble for Daisy and Sweets after she reads his diary. Tsk, tsk. And the wedding talk will find Booth and Brennan again contemplating their own romantic possibilities. Does that mean Booth's lady love Hannah will be bye-bye by V-Day? "If I tell you how long Hannah's around, you might figure out what happens," says Hanson. "I will say the triangle story is dealt with in January."
I've done a pretty good job of distracting myself from falling into the deadly trap of musing over Brennan and Booth's relationship for hours and hours, but oh man. Why didn't I read this earlier? It could've saved me a lot of heart-crush - knowing that those two will be spending Valentine's Day together. Alone. Keyword. Alone.
You know, even though 20 Jan is just two freaking days away from that pitch and 20 Jan would mean I'd have finished three of the most frustrating projects so far, I CAN'T WAIT.
Wait. That's not quite it.
I can't wait for the Jan 20 episode (and all the subsequent episodes), but my project deadlines can wait for all I care.
Especially CS. I hate you, CS. Oh, and I hate you too, VPPP. Not the people. I have no grudge against the people. I have a grudge against the project itself.
Two Worlds II is awesome. Well, the graphics and all are. Story-wise, it can't beat Dragon Age. Then and again, pretty much no game storyline can beat DA's. The main story, at any rate. Oblivion and DA even each other out on my list.
DA's main story is awesome (choices and character ftw!); side quests are cool but not too stand alone; Oblivion's main story doesn't really have a hook; but their guild quests (Dark Brotherhood anyone? That has got to be singularly the best questline ever. Minus the untimely and inappropriate death of my dear Lucien) are amazingly well done.
Right, back on topic.
After spending quite a while on TW2 (and getting a little tired because the story lacked a hook), I suddenly decided to compare it with DA. And then I went to play DA.
And now I'm officially trying to complete Dragon Age again, as a mage this time.
TW2 is great when I'm bored and all I feel like doing is killing a few people (woohoo!). It's like an MMORPG, except the main story is way better than your typical MMORPG plot, and no one KS-es you. AND no idiot comes up to you and starts asking for money or help or whatever. Nope. None of that irritating stuff.
But DA is still the best, imo. It's because of their writing team that I'm even thinking about joining the game industry someday as a writer. Spending my life creating games' story world, lore, characters, plot/quests and all would be one awesome job.
And I have replayed Oblivion countless times simply for the Dark Brotherhood questline. It's amazing. The whole assassination thing. Just wow.
Which is why I feel like I really cannot wait for both Dragon Age II and Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. DA2'll be out in March! Skyrim in November!
