Hi folks! I'm a girl who loves to imagine, to create, and to dream. I'm collecting poetic quotes, just because they're pretty, so feel free to send me any.
Also, if it isn't already obvious - I believe BB will be together in the end after Booth finds his brains!
For some reason, while I find the whole DA2 concept so very intriguing, I can't seem to stick to one character until I finish the game. I always end up wondering how it's like to play another class, or another personality, at where I am now. More often than not I end up creating a new file, but give up halfway through and go, "bah" (atm I have 5 different characters, most of whom haven't gotten beyond act 1, omg).
So no. This won't do, or I'll never finish DA2 until God knows when. Horsefeathers! D:
I'm sticking with mage this time. And by the Maker's silver cutlery, I will finish the game with her!
That aside. Gothita or Munna? I certainly don't need two psychic Pokemon with me, but while Gothita is better stat-wise and move list-wise, Munna is so cute... D: Musharna isn't so cute though. Gothielle (whatever its last form is called) is more elegant, and it would kinda suit my team overall. But... D:
Ah well. I'll figure something out. Black is so much fun :D I'm gonna go prod Xav after this and ask if he still wants his Pokemon Diamond... :D
God, I hope there's a really goddamn good reason for this. You know just how much I want to go there. And if you let all this happen at this time you better have a freaking good reason for it, because I'm not settling for this just because.
And off-topic, but I really hate that bitch. Not sure why, but I just hate her. Maybe it's that unbelievably weak character or she's just being the pitiful target of my ire. Either way I really hate her at the moment. Like c'mon, seriously? Who are you kidding? Were I one of your girl friends I'd think you desperate and putting up a miserable act. Heck, you probably are. I think you're weak. My opinion stops there.
But of course, that is being judgmental, and evil, and whatever bullshit.
... You know what? Whatever. It's not like she will ever read this anyway, and know it's her.
So screw the world, I'm going to keep my thoughts to myself as always, hold my head high and know that, at the very least, I'm stronger than she can ever be.
FlyFF doesn't even come close to the joys of training my Cyndaquil and Mareep and Misdreavus, and journeying through the nostalgic lands of Johto and Kanto.
LANDS OF MY CHILDHOOD, MIND YOU. I grew up in Johto and Kanto! Crystal was awesome! When I first heard Johto's remake would be released for the DS I was like, omgwhut?! NUUUU! and from then on I didn't follow Pokemon. Until now *coughs*.
I'll explore Sinnoh another time! Nostalgia wins on this one.
I'll be training all those nostalgic Pokemon. Especially Eevee, which I sorely missed in Sapphire and Emerald. But they made up for it with awesome dragon Pokemon like Flygon and Altaria. Oh, and Gardevoir - quite possibly the most wonderful Psychic Pokemon ever. Made the loss much more bearable.
BUT, WITH HG/SS, I WILL BE REUNITED WITH MY ESPEON AGAIN, AT LONG LAST.
Might as well get an Umbreon too.
A-ha, I SHALL BREED A WHOLE BOX OF EEVEES.
WELCOME TO EEVEE HEAVEN.
And for now I shall kill some Boss Bangs and try not to think about Pokemon.
2040 words in 2 hours on a new, random idea. WELCOME BACK, WRITING MUSE. Where have you been? I've missed you so much! You can't go on vacation so often!
YOU KNOW, WHY DOESN'T THIS EVER HAPPEN TO ME DURING A SCHOOL TERM?
I feel so awesome.
Just gotta hope I actually finish this story, and that it doesn't end up in my folder of half-finished tales again.
AND I HAS DECIDED. I WANTS AN NDS FOR MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT. *evil smile* Three people can pool my prezzies together and get me Pokemon Platinum, White and an NDS. And the fourth... well, that would be DA2 when it comes! Muahahaha. :D
Because I love Pokemon, and the touchscreen is actually pretty awesome. Plus plus the PSP isn't gonna have such a good year, judging by the games coming out for it this year. And it would complete my console collection! And I guess I just WANT that nice pink thing with Pokemon Platinum and White (oh God have you seen the legendary Pokemon for White? IT'S AS AWESOME AS SUICUNE, OMGWTF), with my nice pink PSP on standby in case any of those OMGWTF AWESOME games get ported for PSP!
And... yes. I'm on a roll, I'm so glad holidays are here. It's like, "SCREW YOURSELF SCHOOL, I'M GONNA PLAY AND WRITE AND WHINE AND SLOWLY CONVINCE MY PARENTS THAT AN NDS IS AWESOMELY COOL LIKE A PSP - plus it's really cheap now! And..."
OR I COULD USE SAVINGS! But dunno if I'll be allowed to use them. D:
The whole world can go and screw themselves; I'm going to play Pokemon and wait impatiently for Dragon Age II to come so I can marathon it. Oh, and mull over the benefits/disadvantages of getting a DS to catch up with the Pokemon series, because I've rediscovered my love of Pokemon, naturally.
We haven't actually submitted my final assignment yet, but in my head I'm already done. I'm not even gonna think about it anymore. LIFE HAS JUST BEGUN, BABY! Fanfictions, games, RPs and random stories - here I come!
Here's to our theme song, that has helped us thus far (though we didn't actually drop everything now at any point in time).
It's too bad. I just wish everything else would be nice and fine too, so we can all go back to those days before the shit happened. And it might be evil of me, but I choose to blame it on the one who caused it. Ah, that tiny vicious side of me... *quells*
Aww c'mon, the module isn't even gonna be part of my GPA! Why the heaven do I have to retake the test (and if I fail the retest, retake GEMs)? Pointless. It's just pointless. I mean sure, it'll look ugly on the certificate, but I bet that all people are gonna stare at is the freaking GPA. I'll probably even have to talk about what I actually studied in my 3 years of poly life despite the fact that it might be on the results slip.
But I should go back to mugging. This sucks. I should've just gone straight for biotechnology or game design and make my life easier - why did I even consider this module? At least for biotech those two years of biology might help a little. As for game design, well, it would actually be something I'd like. But no! I had to be all curious and naive and choose a GEM I've never even heard of in my whole life!
I was just quietly gazing at the little one's sleeping face. Its eyebrows are slightly frowning; if it's a nightmare, then please wake up.
I used to fear swimming and always hold back. Yes, the memories from that summer are coming back. Being pushed in my back, I finally learned how to swim. It all seems like yesterday.
I can hear a voice; it's showing me the direction I should go. Alone in the rustling wind, I am singing a song.
The little one is actually me. Without a doubt, it is me. My helpless feeling reflected in the mirror will become my unbeatable tomorrow.
Then, little by little, I will start to return to my childhood, to the days when you praised me for singing love songs, the meaning of which I had yet to understand.
When I look up into the sky, my voice gradually becomes full. In the rustling wind, you, too, should lightly float up with me.
I can hear a voice; it's showing me the direction I should go. Alone in the rustling wind, I am singing a song.
I've realized that my most precious one is right by my side.
When I look up into the sky, my voice gradually becomes full. In the rustling wind, you, too, should lightly float up with me.
I can hear a voice; it's showing me the direction I should go. Alone in the rustling wind, I am singing a song.
Chiisaki Mono
Lyrics: Miura Noriko
Music: Yamai Takai
Vocals: Asuca Hayashi
shizuka ni tada mitsumeteta chiisaki mono nemuru kao miken ni shiwa sukoshi dake yoseteru kowai yume nara me o samashite
mizu ga kowakute shirigomi shiteta ano natsu ga yomigaeru yo senaka osarete wa yatto oyogeta maru de kinou mitai desu
koe ga kikoeru yukubeki michi yubisashite iru sara sara nagaru kaze no naka de hitori watashi utatte imasu
chiisaki mono sore wa watashi watashi desu magire naku kagami no naka kokorobososa dake ga dare ni makenai ashita ni naru yo
soshite watashi wa osanai koro ni sukoshizutsu modotte yuku imi mo shirazu utau koi no uta o hometekureta ano hi ni
sora o ao geba michite kuru watashi no koe ga sara sara nagaru kaze no naka de kimi mo fuwari mai agare
koe ga kikoeru yukubeki michi yubisashite iru sara sara nagaru kaze no naka de hitori watashi utatte imasu
taisetsu na mono wa sugusoba ni aru sono koto ni kidzuita
sora o ao geba michite kuru watashi no koe ga sara sara nagaru kaze no naka de kimi mo fuwari mai agare
koe ga kikoeru yukubeki michi yubisashite iru sara sara nagaru kaze no naka de hitori watashi utatte imasu
------------------
Just bawled my eyes out after hearing this song. Wow, I don't really know why either, but it's so touching! Don't you agree? *wipes tears*
I realize I'm doing a lot of tumblr lately. The posts are just too cute. And it's nice to blog & reblog one-liners every now and then.
Still wondering if I should order Magia... I mean, the song is kind of growing on me (is that seriously your voice, Hikaru?), but the single is so very expensive. Not to mention that I'm still waiting for Dragon Age 2. Maybe I should wait for Kalafina's next album instead. Which probably won't be coming soon, so...
AND OMG, DARKEST MERCY IS OUT!
Damnit Kinokuniya needs to stock DM fast! I can't wait to read the rest of the book after reading the first 8 chapters in the preview. Darn. Maybe I should check on Monday? Think the book will be here 3 days after its release date? *hopeful stare*
I might not always agree with some of my lecturers, but this time, I did... for once, anyway. She was talking about how painful it is when you desperately have to churn out something, and no matter how hard you try, it just won't come out.
The frustration is mind-killing, and it builds, it builds, keeps building... and then you break down, and start snapping at everyone. Your temper becomes as short as an eyelash, you start getting all depressed and moping around, the concept/episode/character is constantly dancing in your mind and going, haha, you can't figure this out!
It's the KILL STAB SHUT UP STOP TALKING NO GOTTA WRITE SOMETHING STOP STARING BLANK DOCUMENT WHY IS NOTHING COMING OUT SHIT SHIT SHIT kind of frustration.
And it got me thinking, you know, about that kind of frustration. It's a frustration and a kind of stress that doesn't show at all. All the gymnastics and mugging is in the mind, and sometimes it comes across as though you're not doing anything much, when your brain is actually ready to slop out of your ears and you want to claw at your face and start bawling (maybe not).
And you know how, when you tell people who have never written a concept in their whole life about how you're struggling with the side plot, and you need to fix the character, or you can't make an idea work, etc, they go, "... oh, okay." Or worse, "oh, really?"
Empathy has pretty much gone down the drain by then. So has patience.
No wonder I'm snapping at everyone these days.
And I suppose it might partially be PMS too, but oh well. How I wish the body could re-absorb its stuff... *mumble mumble*
Not to mention I'm starting to wonder why I care so much about a clique that I am, in all actuality, not part of (no Karkar, Stell & Peipei, this doesn't refer to our little cliques. I loveeee you girls!). Maybe it's because I want to be part of it, with all the nonsense and drama and stuff. It gets kind of frustrating in the end. Sure, I can offer the bystander's point of view (which is nicely neutral), but I'll never truly be in.
I'm not linguistically blind. I can't tell nuts about someone when they're talking, but writing is different. I know that tone when I see it; I know it from the words they use. And sometimes I end up wondering about certain things that aren't so nice. Yes, from a bystander's point of view, some things are truly ridiculous... and some are just unbelievable.
And yet, because that friend is important to me, I suppose I'll just stay and you know, quit thinking so much about things, even if I do wish we could all just go back to those times when the friendship hadn't changed and stuff.
Oh, here I am blogging instead of wracking my poor brain about a subplot. There goes.
I hate the pecha-kucha presentation style. I really, really do.
I am so goddamn frustrated, I feel like bashing something until it bleeds that warm, crimson liquid all over the place.
And sure, I could probably ramble to someone, but how would you like it if one of your friends just approached you out of the blue and started screaming and shouting about what happened and how it all sucked?
Not to mention I'm probably not the only one who had a bad day too (I hope).
So I'm rambling here, where no one gets irritated since you get to choose whether you want to read or not.
Ach, my timing just sucks. My brain hasn't been functioning right in the realm of creativity since the start of second sem, or so I think. And now I'm really feeling the malfunction.
And on top of desperately trying to wring out some last few drops of inspiration from my sun-dried rag of creativity, that has to happen.
Perfect, perfect timing.
I just had to not see that note and screw myself ten times over. Well done, girl; now good luck on thinking of and elaborating on a good plot in the space of six days.
I am not surprised at the number of artists/musicians/writers who lose it completely and go insane (or depressed) every now and then.
The random one-liners, quotes, nonsense and really short paragraphs that don't feel appropriate anywhere else go there.
The random long rambles stay here, simply because I'm not used to seeing ultra-long posts in tumblr, lol, and LJ/wordpress is generally far too serious/professional for my random rants. Not to mention, if I get a compulsion to do a blogskin - this will still be here for me.
But naturally, since it's easier to write a post for tumblr (due to the little rules I've imposed on myself), the former would obviously be more active. And probably more... well, never mind, just read at your own risk.
I am actually pretty irritated at how ironic life can be sometimes.
You know, the people I don't mind listening to, even if they call at unearthly hours, don't - or hardly - ever seem to tell me about their issues. Or if they do, it's normally about issues that actually matter. On the other hand, the people that annoy the heck out of me seem to be perpetually complaining to me about their lives and whatnot. Talk about familiarity breeding contempt. Or distance makes the heart grow fonder.
Or, you know, just my luck or something. Except that I don't quite believe in luck or coincidence, so... damn. I don't want to end up like those people I'm always listening to. And yet they say the more you hang out with someone, the more they rub off on you. So why am I always with the people I don't want to become, instead of the people I want to become (this is not counting schoolmates. I absolutely love my schoolmates, you know, primary, secondary, and poly. All of you are awesome. I'm referring to... let's just say elsewhere.)?
I need to stop being so nice. I need to stop thinking about other people's feelings so much. I shouldn't be afraid of hurting people. And I shouldn't be plagued by guilt when I do so.
What do you do when you love what you do, yet desperately wish it was easier? When you think, hey, this job would be interesting, yet it frays your nerves while you try to cook up a decent concept?
Nope, I never thought it would be all sunshine and roses, but hey, I'm a champion complainer. No surprise there. Plus I just had a day of hermit time and I don't feel any better. Probably because EP is due on Friday, and some of the CA10s are already out (and they're really daunting, imo. The kind you don't dare to touch because they have sharp teeth and strong jaws. Snap!).
And they're right, you know. It's easier to study for exams than do projects all-year round. You really have to love what you're doing to take the latter path.
That's it. I'm gonna go kill more darkspawn while I wait. I finished an Amell playthrough of Origins. Now for her Awakening playthrough. Then at least I'll have her (so-called complete) save file for DA2 (since Hawke's related to the Amell line, apparently). If there aren't any subtle changes in the world for Amell, then I'll just import my dear ol' Cousland's save instead. Then maybe my Tabris.
Charis was absolutely right when she said artists, musicians, and writers - they're all an emotional bunch of people. Our feelings and hopes practically bleed into our works, whether it's a story, a poem, a picture, or a song. And we're open to our feelings, 'cos emotions are often what constitutes inspiration. But it's a double-edge sword, since sometimes, we can't express the turmoil that churns within us. Sometimes.
Emotions are fleeting; insubstantial. They don't last, not unless you make them last.
I questioned many things.
I have yet to find answers.
Things get complicated.
But I still believe God turns everything around to work for my own good. Even the bad.
I still want to take the extra course in psychology if my GPA hits the requirements this sem. Of course, they're doing it by invitation only, so... damn. One can only hope, since I'm not sure if I should, even if I want to. If the current workload is enough to drive me bonkers at times, then how the hell will I handle night classes?
It's just that I like psychology. I still wonder if I could be some sort of counsellor, or psychiatrist, or psychologist in the future. The human mind fascinates me. I originally intended to go for a psychology course, but they didn't offer any such thing in the polys. The closest psychology course was mixed with business, and I didn't want that. I don't really care about using psychology for business, or for social working. I want to study the mind, to theorize why it functions that way, why people behave the way they do, why we feel. I want to slip into people's minds. Listen to people; learn to see beyond their words and into the heart of the issue.
Actually, sure, I could probably read up on my own. But don't you need some sort of qualification to work as a psychologist? Heck, a profiler sounds more than awesome, actually. Though I doubt I can be a profiler in SG, lol. It's okay! Dream big, and then cross that mountain when you get to it.
But I'm still a writer first, and I still want my hermit time, so yes. Maybe not. There are many paths one can take, after all. And if it's what I'm called for, I can be pretty damn sure God will move heaven, hell and earth to make sure I fulfill that calling.
Off-topic, but Bones returns this Thursday! Finally. I can't sit down and watch a show without a single production/script/character development thought crossing my mind.
Heck, I can't even hate the current Hannah-Booth-Brennan arc because of what I've learned. It's a plot point. It's there to examine the characters' dynamics and relationships. It's there to develop the characters (without Hannah Brennan might've never broken down to the point of confession), and push their relationship in a direction we all desire.
It will pass.
And most importantly, while I wish I could hate the current arc, I can't, because from a writer's point of view, introducing Hannah - someone you can't hate and that Brennan isn't cat-fighting with - is quite an ingenious way of laying the foundation for Booth and Brennan's ultimate acknowledgement of their feelings. The fans might be furious (that includes me), but I understand why they're doing it. It's for the characters' own good. Brennan won't just come to terms with her feelings with a snap of her fingers, without some kind of trigger.
THAT JUST MAKES IT HARDER, DAMNIT.
Oh, I can't wait for Dragon Age II (March) and Skyrim (Nov). Writers, work your magic!
I didn't get what the whole main plot was about, but by the Nine Divines! Skyrim is official and it's coming!
I bet they chose the date because of its significance. No other reason. I bet they'll just twiddle their thumbs and wait till 11.11.2011 to release Skyrim even if they finish it earlier. I can't wait! :D I'll be looking forward to Dark Brotherhood goodies... or whatever their equivalent in Skyrim is.
That aside. I just want VPPP to be over. D: I don't wanna show it to him; I just wanna export and submit and go for cca and then go home. Sigh.
Unsurprisingly, I have the slightest twinge of nervousness about tomorrow. I don't think I will ever get used to the pressure of pitching an idea. Pitching is a lot more than just a simple presentation. I guess it's because you're not only presenting: you're offering something, and that suggestion more often than not comes from your heart.
And if it's rejected - wow. It's like breaking up with someone.
I was exaggerating.
But it's definitely not a pleasant feeling.
If it's justified I can accept it though. It's just... well, some people are unpredictable. One man's meat is another man's poison.
Oh, don't get me wrong. I still love writing stories and I still find the whole process fun (starting, reworking, and so on), but pitching... let's just say it's not quite my cup of tea. Yet. After all I did spend 15 years keeping mum about any random bursts of inspiration I might've had.
And because I'm so awesome, I only realized in half my ideas, the characters had little to nothing at stake 30 minutes ago. And I had almost two days to realize that. Aren't I awesome?
Time to rework those faulty episodic summaries again.
Question: Heart-crushed that Booth shot down Brennan in the December 9 episode of Bones. I need something to make my heart full again. I need some positive Booth/Brennan scoop! Go! —Shay
Ausiello: They’re going to be spending Valentine’s Day together. Alone.
What a present Emily Deschanel received from Bones creator Hart Hanson. After attending the actress' September nuptials, Hanson was inspired to write a wedding-themed Valentine's Day episode for Emily's directorial debut. "We all remember what Emily went through," says Hanson of the bride's wedding jitters. "She's very detail-oriented and wanted it to be perfect."
The episode, which finds a wedding planner murdered, "is one of our more amusing cases, enabling us to have fun with everybody's relationships," says Hanson. For instance, there'll be trouble for Daisy and Sweets after she reads his diary. Tsk, tsk. And the wedding talk will find Booth and Brennan again contemplating their own romantic possibilities. Does that mean Booth's lady love Hannah will be bye-bye by V-Day? "If I tell you how long Hannah's around, you might figure out what happens," says Hanson. "I will say the triangle story is dealt with in January."
I've done a pretty good job of distracting myself from falling into the deadly trap of musing over Brennan and Booth's relationship for hours and hours, but oh man. Why didn't I read this earlier? It could've saved me a lot of heart-crush - knowing that those two will be spending Valentine's Day together. Alone. Keyword. Alone.
You know, even though 20 Jan is just two freaking days away from that pitch and 20 Jan would mean I'd have finished three of the most frustrating projects so far, I CAN'T WAIT.
Wait. That's not quite it.
I can't wait for the Jan 20 episode (and all the subsequent episodes), but my project deadlines can wait for all I care.
Especially CS. I hate you, CS. Oh, and I hate you too, VPPP. Not the people. I have no grudge against the people. I have a grudge against the project itself.
Two Worlds II is awesome. Well, the graphics and all are. Story-wise, it can't beat Dragon Age. Then and again, pretty much no game storyline can beat DA's. The main story, at any rate. Oblivion and DA even each other out on my list.
DA's main story is awesome (choices and character ftw!); side quests are cool but not too stand alone; Oblivion's main story doesn't really have a hook; but their guild quests (Dark Brotherhood anyone? That has got to be singularly the best questline ever. Minus the untimely and inappropriate death of my dear Lucien) are amazingly well done.
Right, back on topic.
After spending quite a while on TW2 (and getting a little tired because the story lacked a hook), I suddenly decided to compare it with DA. And then I went to play DA.
And now I'm officially trying to complete Dragon Age again, as a mage this time.
TW2 is great when I'm bored and all I feel like doing is killing a few people (woohoo!). It's like an MMORPG, except the main story is way better than your typical MMORPG plot, and no one KS-es you. AND no idiot comes up to you and starts asking for money or help or whatever. Nope. None of that irritating stuff.
But DA is still the best, imo. It's because of their writing team that I'm even thinking about joining the game industry someday as a writer. Spending my life creating games' story world, lore, characters, plot/quests and all would be one awesome job.
And I have replayed Oblivion countless times simply for the Dark Brotherhood questline. It's amazing. The whole assassination thing. Just wow.
Which is why I feel like I really cannot wait for both Dragon Age II and Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. DA2'll be out in March! Skyrim in November!
