Hi folks! I'm a girl who loves to imagine, to create, and to dream. I'm collecting poetic quotes, just because they're pretty, so feel free to send me any.
Also, if it isn't already obvious - I believe BB will be together in the end after Booth finds his brains!
Karma Ever17 -the out of infinity- Composed by: KID
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Beautifully sad piano song. I swear I was going to bawl there and then when this song started playing in Tsugumi's ending.
I was reading a slew of Brennan/Booth fluff on fanfiction.net. It made me all happy and warm and fuzzy on the inside - hot damn this is how they should be - but then I remembered that someone mentioned season 5's finale was going to be a tearjerker. And that apparently Brennan rejects Booth's proposal at some point. I haven't even finished season 3 and I'm scared to know what happens in their relationship.
They're made for each other, they are! D:
Um, back to Brennan/Booth fanfics. I happened to have Karma on loop when I read some of the more angsty fics (with either of them dying and the other regretting like shit) AND IT WAS REALLY SAD! Sigh. I hope they get together in the end. Brennan/Booth might be my first ever OTP.
I have always refrained from pairing characters, but those two need to be together man! Really!
I will so write Brennan/Booth fluff once I catch up with the series.
That said, I had the time to compare my fanfics with my original works.
And I realized the quality between the two is incredibly shocking. My fanfics are much better than my original works. That's sad. D: I guess I'm not really ready for original works yet. I probably can't develop characters well enough for them to carry a whole story on their own. Doesn't mean I'm not working on any concepts now... I'll just work on them, and next time I take a peek at them, I might have the experience to revise it into something workable.
... But really, how the heck did I write those fanfics? D:
Now I feel like I've totally lost whatever I had when I wrote fanfiction, especially the Dragon Age one. I feel like I've dropped a great deal when it comes to writing standards. Or is it because of the nature of school assignments? D:
I still had whatever it was before the 2nd semester. After taking that part-time job in Oct, I feel like I've lost something important, related to writing. It's the thing that I still had when I wrote that Zevran/Surana fanfic (which I read today and went, wtf? What happened to me?)
I dunno. I hope it comes back, because whatever it is, it's important. It's related to expression, to word choice, to description. I have no idea what it is. It's definitely not passion because I still have that. Jesus, I want it (whatever writing muse I've lost) back!
Every time a new idea jumps into my head, I go omg this is freaking awesome! I'm gonna develop this now! and do just that.
By the time I finish character creation/setting and actually settle down to write the story, I end up thinking about another idea, and then going omg this is much more awesome!I'm gonna work on this instead!
And hence the cycle repeats itself. I have a few concepts sitting in my folder, most of which are incomplete. Well, my nanowrimo plot is the one story that has managed to hit chapter 10, but after that a guild pulled itself out of nowhere and I know nuts about guild hierarchy/conflicts. And I have no idea where that whole guild business came from. Plus I know nuts about politics. So I decided to temporarily set aside that plot. My "temporarily" lasts anywhere between a week and... years.
Yes, freaking years. Ha.
Instead, I went back to thinking about the one story I finished way back in secondary school (and which is so crappy I don't even dare to talk about it).
Then the entire concept revamped itself based solely on the title. While I was in the toilet, again. Don't you just love toilets? Ideas just drop from heaven when you're in there.
So here I am with a new idea that I'm omg-so-happy-to-work-on, but oh man, I need to finish something - and not have accumulating half-finished plots lying around in my computer. I keep thinking this plot will be the one I'll actually finish, and then when a new idea comes along I start thinking that idea will be the one I'll finish, and on and on.
I think I should create a character who will win my heart. Then I'll see the damn story to the end, haha. Except I have no idea what kind of character will win my heart! And I haven't exactly found what gets me on a roll yet. Sometimes it's music, sometimes it's purely just inspiration, and sometimes it's the fact that I'm writing a scene I've been yearning to write.
Some writers need a plot, some writers write based on character, some writers don't plot at all and just write, some writers need to go through a 2-hour prep before actually sitting down to write... I wonder what's my muse. I've tried plotting, no plotting, character-based... well, I haven't tried random scene writing yet, but it just feels weird to do that.
At least I know I tend to work towards key scenes in the story, and I often think of an ending before a beginning (so starting is the hardest, and the middle is harder, but the climax is super easy 'cos I know just what's going to happen).
Good grief. Oh well, I've lots of time to try out stuff - better start focusing on the presentation tomorrow. Zomg.
I have this very bad feeling about my EP research paper.
It's due on Friday and while I've started on it, I'm nowhere near completing it yet. And here I am blogging, facebooking, resisting the urge to play more Pangya, & trying not to stare at the Bones DVD (OH-SO-TEMPTING TO WATCH). And I could be watching Bones now, if I hadn't watched it the whole of yesterday night and decided to forget about my EP research paper (which was a lot easier to do).
So. I have this very bad feeling about this.
I will probably end up in a complete psychological mess on Thursday night, where I'll run around the room, clawing at my hair, freaking my eyeballs out of their sockets and going, "DEADLINE TOMORROW DEADLINE TOMORROW DEADLINE TOMORROW DEADLINE TOMORROW DEADLINE TOMORROW DEADLINE TOMORROW DEADLINE TOMORROW DEADLINE TOMORROW -"
And on Friday, I'll come to school looking like I just stepped out of L4D, at the same time having a massive psychological breakdown because I just finished the research paper last night. Which would approximately be - who knows? - 13 hours before the deadline. Only because I rushed.
... Nah, kidding. My mind doesn't die so easily. I think.
And then it's not the end! More projects! More discussions! More presentations! More planning! This world sucks man. I'm gonna create a character and make her save the world instead of going through the mundane things of life. Uh, when I find the time.
So, I'll finish up that research paper. Soon. After this. After that.
I haven't listened to this song since March, to be honest. And when I finally listened to it again (by accident really. Don't you just love iTunes' shuffle function?), I was like... whoa. How did I fall out of love with this song?
Of course, it remains the theme song for the relationship between Sora and Gray. For me, at any rate. If I'm writing a scene where their budding romance is involved, this song is either playing on iTunes, or in my head. But I never quite took the time to appreciate the bass, the harmonies, and well, the expressions in general, like I did when I first heard the song. And doing so has made me fall in love with it all over again.
But oh, speaking of which, my current playlist for my attempt at writing a novel, as of this date, comprises only Kalafina songs. And one FJ song (this one!). All Yuki Kajiura's compositions. Win, yes? :D I can't believe the main characters' individual theme songs are all sung by Kalafina. Talk about diversity.
It's just as well, though... can't imagine myself listening to anything else 56 times in a row just to write out one character's POV. :P
ALRIGHT, LOOK AT THE WORD COUNT I'VE KICKED UP HERE. GOING BACK TO NANOWRI - but wait, I still have research to do. CAs are just awesome. Really.
I was hoping I could hit 10k words tonight. But I guess not, hahaha. Anyway, minus the original 6914 words, I've written only about 3k+ words. Still hit the daily target at any rate... and yes, I decided to try NaNoWriMo. Because Carmen and Megan were awesome brainwashe - nah, kidding.
Because I decided to continue a novel I was procrastinating, I have an original 6914 words that was written before Nov 1st. So my actual goal is 57k words, I guess. Omg.
I was just thinking I wouldn't get the full 30 days of Nov to write since there'll be stuff, and choir, and dinner, that takes up a whole day (meaning I'd have to compensate for the lost words on that day).
But when will I ever have a totally free Nov? So I thought, screw that, and just do it. There's no penalty for failing to hit the 50, 000 word limit anyway. But it's a personal challenge that I'd love to complete. Even if it takes me more than one try, ohohoho.
And yes, they're right, if I can hold a complete first draft of a novel by 30 Nov, all that finger pain, brain pain and inspiration sourcing would be worth it. Ten times over. It'll be worth the world to a writer.
And oh, lookie here! I've just written like 200+ words' worth of a blog post! I could've written 200+ more words for my novel! LOL.
I shall not blog anymore for this month (this is a lie. You will see a post sooner or later). I shall devote all my laptop time to writing that novel. I shall refrain from getting Fable III until Nov 30 (or get it and pass it to mum to keep). I shall NOT touch G4. And I will touch my PSP, but only when I can't get on the laptop, lol.
GOOD HEAVENS 57K WORDS I'VE NEVER WRITTEN THAT MUCH BEFORE OH MAN. :D
For a moment, I thought I'd only exceeded the word limit by 8 words.
Then I looked it through and realized I'd forgotten all about the part that I skipped earlier - which would be about a few hundred more words if I copied the initial plot. OMG. HAHA. And there I was thinking I was finally done! XD
Oh well. I shall be a normal teenager now and surf the net. Will settle it tomorrow. Who said you gotta do everything in one day? Wahaha.
Oh wait, I'm procrastinating again. 3 weeks might seem like a long time to settle everything but I'm pretty convinced it's not.
But meh, I don't feel like thinking of ways to plug the loopholes at the moment. I'm seeing tons of them in the plot now.
I think I'll do CSM tomorrow for a change. Then it's back to HML again. Not that I mind. I'm just not looking forward to doing the ppt slides & presenting my plot - how the heaven do you present a storyline, anyway? O_o
I've finally finished the draft... and it looks terrible.
I've overshot the word count, plonked in random things without any buildup, completely forgot to show the gradual change in relationships between characters, missed out some of the stages and well, it's basically crap.
But hey, our lecturer says we should allow ourselves to write badly on the first draft.
I just can't see how I'm going to edit this, though... O_o Probably a copyedit again, which is way harder than it seems...
Or maybe I should get some second opinions. Hohum. We shall see.
For now I'm going to play Persona again. I want to get Orpheus Telos, damnit! Gotta max all the S.Links before moving on to the MShe!
But [SPOILER FOR P3 ENDING]...
He died! I was tearing up at the ending scene! And after I watched the cutscene in FES: The Answer, I teared up again! I liked him. He shouldn't have died, but as far as character development goes, that action was... awesome. It's like bringing everything nicely to a close. BUT I STILL WISH HE DIDN'T DIE.
Well at least a protagonist dies in a game every now and then, as part of the story. (: That makes it... real somehow, never mind that the whole I-die-so-the-world-and-y'all-can-live-on thing was still in there. 'sides, they did an interesting twist on that one.
The reason for his death made me soooo sad, lol.
I can't imagine how he must've felt when he cast the Great Seal, knowing he'd die and his soul wouldn't move on, but stay in the seal, forever protecting mankind, existing as the barrier between Erebus, man's negative emotions & desire to die, from reaching Nyx... but somehow it's kinda fitting... O_o
Even DA's ending wasn't as bittersweet as this one, and I thought DA was awesome already.
So people. Don't mope around and think you've got nothing to live for. If Nyx descends again, we're all doomed! XD
Kidding. But finding out the reason behind the protag's death was quite the shocker to me. Didn't think it'd be that.
Persona is so philosophical. Maybe that's why I like it. :3 It makes you think... about life, about the many personae we wear in the course of our life, about what reality really is, and about the meaning of time.
Okok. I'm gonna go max out all the S.Links. Hohum!
I finally managed to sort out a bit of my HML plot. Yes, only a bit. The last part is still in complete disarray, but at least the story's starting to take form, albeit with the help of a few cliches here and there. I plan to take out those cliches during the editing stage, but if it needs to be there for the plot to make sense, then... *shrugs*
It's impossibly hard to write an outline, I realize. You have little to no character voice to work with. Yvaine should be telling the story, but I find myself unable to fully slip into her shoes because of the nature of the assignment. Sigh. Then and again, I suppose writing out the entire hero's journey as a full-fledged novella/short story would kill us all, given the stuff we have to do for other modules. O_o
And while several ideas (majority of which are completely illogical and virtually impossible to write) have floated around my mind for CSM, I'm nowhere near a solid plot yet. Well, a vague idea concerning a point in my decalogue, yes, but what the heaven the characters, beginning, middle & end should consist of, I have no idea at all.
At least we still have... what, two days to think about it?
And VC. I won't even begin to ramble about this. A director's life is not for me. I swear, after I graduate, I am so not going to direct films... it's a whole lot of work, and I have zero interest in finding actors and stuff. Neither am I particularly inclined to plan every scene - heck, every second of the film - in meticulous detail, from the camera angles, right down to the tiny visual communication that most viewers (excluding critics & fellow filmmaking people I guess) miss like nobody's business.
Really, I think it's tough.
But I suppose I wouldn't mind writing the script. O_o Though scripts sound kind of hard to write, too, since you're writing to pictures...
I want to do game writing. Meh. Too bad there's no course for that. I hope we'll at least touch on it a little someday, though.
Sigh. I really want to watch Inception.
Usually, the more talked about a movie is, the more I don't feel like watching it. But Inception seems to have reversed the reverse psychology. I want to watch it. It sounds damn interesting and damn inspirational. I have this feeling it'll inspire me, lol. Or at least make me go "omg", like The Island did.
And believe it or not, I've kind of hit a block with Sora. She seems to be going somewhat out of character. Perhaps because we're forcing the development. It's about time in the plot, but it seems like she's not ready... oh well, I better go back to her root characteristics and listen to her theme I guess. Characters are... complicated.
And I've just proven that I'm somewhat wrong in the head with that, hahaha. No big deal. I'm proud of her.
Back to the projects. I want to see a decent GPA at the end of the semester.
I have absolutely no idea how I can write out the entire hero's journey in 1, 500 words. Honestly. I don't even know how the plot should flow. All I do know is that I have the ending perfectly planned out (lol wut) and I need to find a way to make the beginning flow into the middle and the middle flow into the planned ending.
Characters tell the story, but Yvaine is being difficult.
I think I'm going to write out her death in a separate file just to please myself.
Oh, the worst thing is that I just had another flash of inspiration some time ago, which is way simpler & better than the idea I submitted for CA1. But alas, you have to use the characters & world from CA1 for CA10! Sigh.
I have a feeling I can get a decent grade with this new idea, but now that I'm stuck with what I wrote for CA1, I just gotta find a way to make the old one work.
Hmm. I'd completely forgotten about our CSM homework until Kar Men reminded me about it today. So I thought about it on the way home with a half-fried brain (while playing psp & listening to Kalafina songs. Multitasking ftw!), and here's what I've got for my decalogue. It's subject to change, I suppose, but it's accurate at the time of posting.
Not in order of merit 1. God loves me. Like crazy. 2. Family always comes first (sorry, darlings. I love you still, but. :3). 3. I tend to value vocal power/harmonizing above impressive instrumentals/catchy tunes in songs. 4. I believe most writers, if not all, are weird/crazy on some level.* 5. Whatever I accomplish is by God's unmerited grace & favour, not by my effort. 6. I believe happiness is a choice. 7. I believe stuff toys are therapeutic on some level & I love them. 8. I believe the English language is beautiful & one of my pet peeves is reading works that display blatant ignorance of its beauty. 9. I believe this world is screwed, but I'm still gonna make the best of my life here. 10. I love Kalafina! -insert rambling here- I believe they'll soar.**
* - Just look at the "you know you are a writer when..." list if you have it. I lol'ed so hard. And just think about all your friends who're made of writing stuff. Yes. We're weird. And I like it. Well, maybe you're not, but hey, everyone's free to have their own opinion about themselves. :3
** - Lol can this be part of a decalogue? XD
... Honestly? I don't know why it's so long. Can a decalogue's points (or whatever floats your boat) be long?
I guess they can. She never did gave us a word limit after all. Hehe.
